Just Tell Us

I just arrive at home. I'm hange out with my manager to solve soke problem. So the story is this. 1 week ago I send an email to all my co worker in eb level that I want to resign from my position now as vp tm. And I send it again to my manager next day.
All them in shock condition and I don't want to pick up their call. Just want to take a rest fom all my responsibility. Cause I feel so tired and so work hard but never think about my self. So, just give some reason to make sure my decition. I just tell them that I cannot handle my job very well because of my weaknesses.

So I just being unreacheable sometimes. Just replay text if I want or anything that I want to do.
Just do what I want. Feel so free and can get closer to Allah swt. Doing self reflection, reading a book, listen music or murottal. Hangout with non aiesec friends. Its really make my life so so relax. Just cam say sorry to them.
4 hours ago, my manager really want meet with me to solve this and want to know the clear reason. And we do such the cry time, express our feeling, what is the reason, what we need to reflect. After giving explanation from me. I give them also to tell their feeling and 4 of us just can blam our self that we have our mistake.
I already tell them the reason, its seems not accepted. After the cry session and self reflextion the place want to close. Time is almost 12pm. So, we change the place. After looking place around than finally We go to losari beach, eat pisang pepe coklat keju. So dellicious. There we contineu or story.

Finally, they want me to back. And ask "will you back or not?"
"Not resign, don't resign because ... "
They say so many things, so many reason to stay.
"Its depend on EB, if they still want me"my answer.
"Of course, they will" one of my manager.
Justtt can smileee while thinking "hmmmmm... depend on EB"
"But, if they want? Will you stay?"resty.
My expression still same.
"Just say yes or no"
Still thingking and I say "oke".
"Its not the answer"ulla.
"Hmmmmmm... hahahahhaha" just can laugh.
"Will you? Yes or not?"
Hmmm .."oke".
And my manager ulla give me a question and suddenly I said "yes" and that the answer for them.

But before that they want me to say what I want if I'm back.
"So, please tell us what you want" and I just said
"Mauka kalian kerja tugasnya. Sy kerja aiesec cuman 4 jam per hari, itu d malam hari dr jam 9 atau jam 8 - 12 malam. Nda bsaka jag stand. Pling nanti klian sy tracking, trus kbanyakan online, buat group d line or fb chat. Tp klo siang bsaji d sms. Jng menelfon. Ketemu mungkin 1x seminggu, sabtu malam. Sabtu n minggu rencana libur. Pokoknya kalian kerja kerjaaannya kalian. Sering2 onlineeee... and so may thingss"
They just say..
"Just like that" "just do it"
"I want to take a rest"
"Just one week?"
"Hmmmm .. oke"
"When?"
"From today until one week. Hehehhehe"
"Okeee. But can we send text or asking something?"
"Hmmm. Oke just text meee"
Resty suddenly: " I want to ask you something"
"What"
"Hmmmm... but I think just later. Its not the right time. I will text you or bbm"
"Oke"
Than after say "yes" we want to do big hug.. and wnat to start the story again make all new again.

In that time while the express our feeling and reason, I just said " I feel no take care very well to member, and they not care about this organisation because I not closer with them. Maybe people who getting closer with the member its good for this functional. Talent management take care all member and I can do it....."
Thay just said
"Kak, its not your mistake, we already try to do something but its because the member. Even marcomm already help us to spread the information to the members but still npt hipe. At least we already try to do something"
"Kak, if the technical problem, pretendly is tm responsibility. But if the personal we cannot do controll it"
"Maybe because our usaha nda cukup"
"Let's try again. And I think its not just tm responsibility to get hipe member but also us or all eb responsible for that"
I just can express "hmmmmm sambil kepala d angguk anggukkan" and said "ok!"

Oke. After said "yes". We back home.
I arrive and write this story. I hope all my manager really doing their job very well. Can perform very well and can get the developmebt like they expect :)
And this the start of new TM and the best experience :)
Love you love you love you :)